The other day the new roommates and I went to Cheesecake Factory, and I, as usual, ordered my standard fare without looking at the menu: the Mile High Meatloaf Sandwich. Things were going well until about half a second later, when the waitress let it be known that the menu had recently been “updated” and my precious meatloaf was *eliminated*. First Corner Bakery, now this!

The horror! The humanity! Why, oh why, would they eliminate such a marvelous delight? Is it because they decided that it undercuts their traditional meatloaf dish? Was it not popular enough? The Mile High Meatloaf Sandwich was thick egg bread, toasted, with grilled onions on top, with meatloaf on top, with a mound of mashed potatoes on top, with crispy onion strings on top, all surrounded with barbecue sauce. It was *amazing*. Their replacement is a meatloaf sandwich with lettuce, tomatoes, and dijon mustard. She asked me if I wanted that instead. ARE YOU JOKING?

Long story short, through the marvelous efforts of my wonderful waitress and the kitchen staff, I was given a passable imitation of my precious sandwich. It was lacking in some details, including the correct bread, the onions, and the right kind of barbecue sauce, but it was good enough…and it may well have been the last Mile High Meatloaf Sandwich ever served at a Cheesecake Factory. It was quite an honor for me to savor it, now excuse me while I slip off into this corner here, curl up in a fetal position, and cry.