In a small patriotic American town, the high school production of _Grease_ created a controversy because of the drinking, smoking, and wearing of nightgowns. Now they’ve cancelled _The Crucible_ (not for any specific reason) and are also nixing plans for _Little Shop of Horrors_ (woman gets beaten, plant eats people). Also off the table: _Bye Bye Birdie_ (smoking and drinking), _Oklahoma_ (scene of near-rape), and _Diary of Anne Frank_ (not appropriate for young children). The irony of banning _The Crucible_ — a play about the Salem witch trials — is of course completely lost on the community leaders. To add insult to injury, the drama teacher has been told that her contract might not be renewed. Oh, and they’re not too hot to the idea of putting on _Romeo & Juliet_, either. You think I’m joking, but I’m not.