I’m not into video games, never have been. When Igor got a Wii I gave it a shot, but the little sports games and such get old after a while. So I bought _Zelda_, thinking it’d be fun. Well, it is, I’m learning how to…err…fish, and blow grass reeds to summon falcons, and such. I spent something like an hour trying to convince a stupid cat to go back to its owner. (Hmm, maybe if I throw a pumpkin at it? No. How about if I build a wall of pumpkins to try and guide it? Nope. What if I float it across the river on top of a pumpkin? Hmm, that doesn’t work. Hint: the solution does not involve pumpkins.) After the cat I had to learn how to use a sword and slingshot, then went exploring a bit and got an oil lamp and did a bit of horse riding and beating up various man-eating plants. Oh, and more fishing.

Long story short, I got killed by a stupid bird because there wasn’t any method I could see to pay him for his shop goods, and since I didn’t pay him he attacked me, and when I went to get some healing potion stuff I accidentally got lantern oil instead, which you can’t drink, and in the process the bird pecked at me enough such that a black screen came up and told me “Game Over” (a little blunt there?) and that the game was over. Wow, I paid $45 for this?

Apparently — and don’t laugh at me for being an idiot, I don’t know anything about games — apparently you need to save your game every time you do anything remotely interesting or time consuming. Igor says save every five minutes. Whatever. I never saved anything, and I didn’t exactly expect to meet my early demise at the hands of a Tiki Room reject, so now I have to start back at the beginning and learn to swordfight again and slingshot again and herd goats and fish and deal with that stupid cat all over again. Bah.