Patterns and ruts

Winter is upon us for real, now that the first snow is on the ground. I find I follow a fairly predictable pattern in winter. At least for me, the darkness, cold, and dreary weather exacerbates latent depression. I’ve been unhappy lately, and in such times I find that it is important, although sometimes difficult, to just step back and think logically about what is making you unhappy and what you can do to fix it.

Today was a really good day. Not for any specific reason, it was just good. I got up early, I opened my window shade, I did some cleaning, I emailed and IMed a few people I haven’t talked to lately, I got a neat present from home, I did some design work and came up with something I’m fairly proud of, I went for a run for the first time in weather below freezing, and actually did pretty well. I listened to a lot of Springsteen. I had barbecue with Igor and Kevin. I played Rock Band with them plus Kelli, and found out that drumming is awesome.

We often drift into patterns, and do things simply because they’re what we have been doing, and don’t do thinks simply because there is so much inertia holding us in place. Sometimes you can break the pattern with something simple and small and find everything else shifts because of it. This was one of those days, and it reminds me that I don’t have to be unhappy if I don’t want to be.