It’s not that I’m as upset that she said no. I’m sad about that, but that’s a given. I think it’s more that I’m upset because it was such a fucking long build up, like, months, and after I finally finally asked her there was like a two day gap before she responded and my hopes were going up and I knew that it was okay to be mean to her now and be angry with her because it would all be better when she said yes. Irrational? Whatever. I’m allowed to be sad. Emotions are why we do this whole thing called life. I’m going to bask in my pure sadness so that when I look back on it in $time years I can smile and chuckle at how far I’ve come and how much more I’ve achieved and how much I’ve grown as an emotional balanced whole person-being.