We don’t need boys at the box office anymore

The conventional wisdom was that girls would go see movies with boys as the main character, but boys wouldn’t go see movies with girls carrying the lead. Now the realization hits (or the culture shifts) — we don’t need boys to see our movies to make them profitable. And these forumla movies are so cheap, we can crank ’em out by the barrel. Here, let’s make one of our own:

The main themes of our movie: girl-power and self-esteem. Our plot: An idiosyncratic, but pretty female protagonist outfoxes her more popular, blond archrival—think The Karate Kid meets Little Women! Let’s hire hunky boy-toy Chad Michael Murray for eye candy and a little—but not too much—romance. Hey, and how about a pop ballad sung by our lead actress during a particularly emotional or triumphant moment (on-screen dancing, optional)? Studio bosses, please call my agent.

The only question is, which of these stars is going to survive the transition into adulthood? The Olson twins are remarkable in that they’re still going strong, 17 years later. But don’t you just get that “ick” feeling when you see their pictures? And feel really dirty? I liked them when they were one, thankyouverymuch.