It’s your typical Indiana Jones setup. Running through caves, something to do with a Toyota Land Cruiser, lots of cursing aloud at the evils of the Enemy — in this case, Martha Stewart Omnimedia. Thinking the car is about to explode, or fall through a trap door, or something, Indy runs round a corner and unexpectedly falls into an enormous hole where there should have been cave floor. What follows is an incredibly long and sickening fall, past criss-crossing wooden beams that he miraculously avoids. We’re right behind him, crashing into the water below, exhilirated but almost in shock from the cold of the water and the pain of hitting it at high speed.

Indy surfaces, looks around, but it doesn’t look safe, and a dirty man missing several teeth beckons to him from the distance. Just then Indy sees a person-like shape moving under the water, obscuring a bright light. He dives, dives, down and forward, under a metal mesh that he knows will make it impossible to resurface should he run out of air. As he approaches the shape, he realizes that the light is provided by a large candle, miraculously burning and bubbling under the water. The shape turns out to be another man, one who looks a little younger, a little kinder, even if there is a tinge of craziness in his eyes. He is breathing! Indiana hesitates but then, feeling his lungs are about to explode, takes a big gulp of water, fearing the worst.

It works! He hasn’t drowned. The water is full of oxygen, and although it feels pretty weird going into his lungs, he can breathe it. The man offers him some wonderful looking rolls, miraculously unsoggy for having been baked under water. Indy declines, and swims past the man to explore the rest of this portion of the cave, which vaguely resembles an inventor’s workshop that just happens to have an incredibly high, meshed-in ceiling. And cave walls. And is under water.

As he moves towards one end of the room, we pan back to the crazy man, staring affectionately at his bread. Zoom in on the bread, where small lumps are moving around just on the surface, some strange, unseen creatures preparing to burst free, Alien-like, from the loaves. He pats the bread affectionately and begins to laugh maniacally. The Jaws music starts playing in the background. The lumps move faster and faster, tugging at the dough. Something…BAD…is…about…to…happen.

I wake up.