The common room and kitchen area aren’t really nice enough to go online yet, but I’ve put up three images of my room. It’s a little hard to get good snaps due to its size — substantially smaller then my room last year — but you can see my bed, all the pictures I put up on the walls, the shelves I installed (above the fridge), and my computer setup, including my new printer.

AMST 137b: Journalism in Twentieth-Century America
Examines what journalists have done, how their enterprise has in fact conformed with their ideals, and what some of the consequences have been for the republic historically, primarily in the 20th century.

AMST 189a: Legal Foundations of American Capitalism
Surveys core legal institutions of property, contracts, and corporations. Examines how law promotes and restrains the development of capitalism and market society in America, from the era of mass production through the age of global trade and digital commerce.

HIST 80a: Introduction to East Asian Civilization
A selective introduction to the development of forms of thought, social and political institutions, and distinctive cultural contributions of China and Japan from early times to the beginning of the 19th century.

POL 111a: The American Congress
The structure and behavior of the Congress. Emphasis on the way member incentives for reelection, power on Capitol Hill, and good public policy shape Congress.

I like having pictures. I like having taken the pictures. I don’t like walking around with a camera taking people’s pictures, because it makes the social situation awkward. When I have my wearable, this will be less of an issue.

I put my photos online, but previously I’ve never really done much with them in the real world. Tonight I went through and printed a bunch of photos of people in my life and stuck them to a wall of my room. What will be interesting is to see the reactions of others who have seen my previous rooms, but more importantly to me is my own reaction. Will I look at the pictures consciously? Will I see one of them from time to time in the corner of my eye and have it trigger a memory? Will they simply fade into the background, like some of my other room decorations?

I actually find it sorta shocking that this is the first time I’ve done this. It’s also the first time I’ve had a printer capable of printing decent (although not great) quality pictures. So really, it was a technology-motivated change more then anything. My new printer made it possible.

Our environment and circumstances really has a lot of subtle effects on us. Because I only take digital photos, the idea of finding some way to get them into the real world never really occured to me back when I would have had to actively seek it out. It is only sheer coincidence that I happened to get a printer that included some free photo paper, tried out said paper, decided I liked printing photos, and started doing it in earnest.

At the end of this semester, if all goes well, I will have completed 31.5 courses. Need 32 to go on reduced-credit senior status. Gah. Of course, had all gone well from the beginning, I would have been able to graduate in 3 years, so I guess this is a lesser problem.

With a current GPA of 3.073 on 23 graded Brandeis courses (not counting APs, pass/fail, etc.), if I get A grades in eight more courses, the highest GPA I can get is still a little less then a 3.3. Not sure if there is a big difference at this point between the two numbers.

For months, well, years, actually, I’ve thought about cancelling my NetFlix account. I love the idea of the service, but I don’t watch enough DVDs to really justify it. I didn’t want to switch to a lower plan because of all of the limits it imposes. I’ve never felt like I’ve really been getting everything out of the service, but I’ve always continued to pay for it.

Today NetFlix sent me an email saying it was having trouble processing my monthly payment, and it refused to accept my credit card information. Good enough reason for me, just like that my decision was finally made and I called up and cancelled the account. I should have done this months — perhaps years — ago.

They didn’t offer me any deals to try to get me to stay. So let the analysis begin.

I’ve been a NetFlix subscriber for three years and three months. In that time I’ve given NetFlix almost $800 of my money. I’ve rented 83 movies. Wait, really? Ouch, this is going to be painful.

At a cost of $9.64 per movie, I’ve gotten a terrible, terrible deal. Granted, it was self-inflicted. I could have returned my movies faster and rented more. And its different then renting from Blockbuster because I could keep the movie as long as I wanted. But if I look at the movies that I watched on the list, I see that some of them are part of television series, a few of them I never actually ended up watching, and several of them I could have downloaded from the Brandeis network, if I wanted to be less honest.

So I went on Amazon and priced out the cost of purchasing every movie that I watched, with a few exceptions for things that are no longer available and such.

$674.17

Wow.

$674.17. For the price of NetFlix, my DVD collection could be about two or three times larger, and I’d have a few really good movies that I’d certainly watch again, like Annie Hall, State and Main, and The Usual Suspects. And therein lies the dilemna. I clearly did not use NetFlix to its full potential. I clearly lost a lot of money on the deal. But had I been buying the movies outright rather then “renting” them, what is to say I actually would have purchased those titles?

NetFlix is not evil, and it is a good service for many people, the people who watch lots of movies or who share a subscription with friends and family. But it is not a good service for a more casual movie watcher. And it is not a good service for me.

And next time I want to watch a movie on DVD that looks interesting, I’ll probably just buy it. It just makes more sense.

Continue reading “Farewell, NetFlix”

If I end up getting into this last class that I want, I will end up with a class schedule that goes 10:00am – 1:00pm on Mon/Wed/Thu and 2:00pm – 3:30pm Mon/Wed, with a PE 9:00am – 10:30am on Tuesdays. That means most of my Tuesday and my entire Friday will be free. Why is this wonderful?

Monday we get Labor Day off, so I have a four day weekend. After that, we get Rosh Hashanah, giving me another four day weekend. Week after that is a full week, followed by Sukkot on a Thursday (four day weekend, seeing a trend?) and then the next week is Shimini Atzeret, again on a Thursday — four day weekend! So in the first five weeks of school, we only have one full week, and I have four four day weekends. Man, whith a schedule like this, how could I not get all As?!

Ever have a time where you need to move on but your emotions continue to hold you back? What’s a good remedy?

(I’ve tried chocolate chip cookies and they don’t work, so I’m out of ideas.)

It’s my last year at Brandeis, and I’d like to take some classes that are just really good. I’ve re-tallied all of my various requirements and found that there are six classes I need to take (I somehow missed one in Journalism!) including an independent study and an internship, so I have a few free blocks to take things that are just good. Because of the sorry state of my GPA, it would help if they weren’t terribly difficult, as well. I’m gonna try for straight As, which will be a fun goal since so far I’ve never done it at Brandeis. And, since its my senior year, I’m gonna be taking a lot more high-level classes then I was first semester freshman year, when I got closest to this goal (4 As, one B+ because I only went to COSI 2a about 1/3 of the time).

Today Jessica, Shaina, and I went to Disneyland. Strangely, walking around Disneyland brought back more memories then anything else from this trip home. I thought about elementary school and middle school, about Outdoor Ed and the science class trip to Florida, about Kevin and Kenny and Samantha and Magic cards and the Fullerton College theater program.

See, back in middle school I had a Disneyland annual pass, and after school and on weekends I would go there with friends. We became Disneyland experts and knew all the ins and outs of the park, which rides would have the shortest waits at which times, which drinking fountains were coldest, where to spot the hidden Mickeys, etc. Disneyland was an important part of my life, as strange as that probably sounds. And I like to visit it from time to time, to see what has changed and what has stayed the same.

Continue reading “Big Thunder”

22:15:14 Danny Silverman: well, i can’t help it if i can’t understand you
22:15:28 Shaina Silverman: yes you can
22:15:33 Danny Silverman: oh
22:15:35 Danny Silverman: okay then
22:15:47 Shaina Silverman: I’m glad that’s settled

It is highly frustrating when you see people engaging in behavior that is just really beneath them, making decisions that are so terribly unwise, and you see the writing on the wall, and you know this sort of thing is gonna come back and bite us all in the ass right when we least need it, and is going to be really bad for the students we serve, and there is nothing you can do about it. Really, really frustrating. Kinda makes you wonder why you’re doing this at all.

Once again I got parking tickets in Newport. This time, instead of tickets with built-in mailers, I got printed tickets that seemed more like receipts. Only problem with the new system: you check a box saying either “NOT GUILTY” with instructions on having a hearing, or “NOT GUILTY”, with instructions on how to send payment.

So…yeah. Aren’t we missing something here? I marked “NOT GUILTY,” signed on the line, and mailed in my check.

Tonight my summer came to a close, or at least the Waltham portion of it. I spent the weekend with Adam and Kelli in Newport, and it was peaceful. We saw Garden State today, and it was uplifting. Kelli and I watched the Olympics and she explained to me the intracicies of gymnastics, and it was really nice to just relax with a neat person and not worry about anything.

On Monday, I pack and tie up loose ends. On Tuesday I head home for two weeks prior to returning for the start of my last year at Brandeis. Summer is over. School is beginning. My last year, senior year. The end of the line. How did it all go by so quickly?

This was my first summer spent completely away from home, and through it, and by reflecting on my past few years, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned that I’m not as much of a loner as I thought I was, or at least I’m not as much now as I have been in the past. I need to be around people and doing fun activities with others to feel happy. At the same time, I’ve proven that I can make it on my own. I’ve never doubted this, but others have, and I hope they’re satisfied.

I’ve learned that I’m afraid of what comes after college, of the mundanity of real life. I don’t enjoy working eight hours a day at doing the same thing, I don’t enjoy office politics and meetings that don’t accomplish anything and doing things that aren’t interesting and new. Most of all, I don’t enjoy the prospect of not being around friends all the time, not in a place where I can just go knock on a door or send an IM and meet someone for dinner. Of being out somewhere in the wide world, disconnected from everyone I’ve met and known over these past three years, seperated by geography and life circumstance and the demands of work, and the limitations of time and money.

I’ve learned that the people I know have come from very different experiences and backgrounds and families and educations, and that no one is better then another, they are just different. I’m done with being jealous of people who had better or different opportunities than I. I still often think about what might have been, but there are so many different might have beens that its just really silly to worry about it too much. After all, I might never have been born, and really, that’s not a good starting point! I’m happy with what I have, with the opportunities I have been given, with the things people have done to make my life really good, without me even asking, or necessarily realizing it at the time. And I’m happy to look forward, and think about what I can do next, rather then what I could have done before.

I’ve learned that I need to be nicer to people. That I need to praise more, to say thank you more, to ask myself more often, “how can I be of use to the people around me?” I need to be more tolerant of those who don’t understand, less angry at those who make me feel embarassed or stupid, more willing to admit when I am wrong. I think to some extent I am good at being open minded, but I’m not necessarily as good at being teased about my mistakes, and I need to be. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, there really isn’t much point.

I’ve learned that its okay to not really be sure where home is. It is all right to feel that you have multiple places you can call home, and it is perfectly normal for home to not be fixed to a specific location, or time, or set of people. Home is where you are most comfortable and happy and free to be yourself, and home need not be a place.

I’ve learned that its not too late to make new friends, or to renew old ones. I’ve learned that there are lots of interesting people all around me that by the strange flow and ebb of life I might never see, but if I just look a little harder, I might find things that are wonderful.

I’ve learned that optimism is better then pessimism, but sometimes pessimism can be hard to shake.

I’ve learned that exercise can be fun. That long walks can be exhilirating. That physical activity makes me feel good. That sitting around makes me feel unfulfilled. That just because you have a car does not mean you need to use it. That there is a lot of stuff out there that you just don’t see by passing through, that you only see when you start walking for the sake of walking, and don’t worry about where it is precisely that you’re going.

I’ve learned that there are some things you just shouldn’t post on a blog. And if you have something to say to someone, you should stop obsessing and just say it. You never know what might happen.

I’ve learned that telephones need not be scary.

I’ve learned that paying someone to listen to your problems and offer help and advice isn’t always as kooky as it sounds, you just need to find the right person.

I’ve learned that time can tick by slowly or fly by in an instant. That movies can continue to inspire me. That television is still, occasionally, an art form. That books can be really, really good. That sometimes you need to look at the big picture and just not worry so much about the details. That sometimes details can be extremely important. That you shouldn’t judge people or organizations without taking the time to understand them. That there is a difference between a friend and an aquaintance, and that both are good, and that you really don’t need to worry overly about whether someone is one or the other because, really, it will all become clear with time.

I’ve learned that sometimes I can write, and sometimes I can’t, and I just don’t know on any given day which one its gonna be until I try.

And most of all, I’ve learned to trust myself, and to feel good about myself, and to be myself, even when it hurts, even when it would be easier to be someone else. And I think that is the most important lesson of this summer.

It’s your typical Indiana Jones setup. Running through caves, something to do with a Toyota Land Cruiser, lots of cursing aloud at the evils of the Enemy — in this case, Martha Stewart Omnimedia. Thinking the car is about to explode, or fall through a trap door, or something, Indy runs round a corner and unexpectedly falls into an enormous hole where there should have been cave floor. What follows is an incredibly long and sickening fall, past criss-crossing wooden beams that he miraculously avoids. We’re right behind him, crashing into the water below, exhilirated but almost in shock from the cold of the water and the pain of hitting it at high speed.

Indy surfaces, looks around, but it doesn’t look safe, and a dirty man missing several teeth beckons to him from the distance. Just then Indy sees a person-like shape moving under the water, obscuring a bright light. He dives, dives, down and forward, under a metal mesh that he knows will make it impossible to resurface should he run out of air. As he approaches the shape, he realizes that the light is provided by a large candle, miraculously burning and bubbling under the water. The shape turns out to be another man, one who looks a little younger, a little kinder, even if there is a tinge of craziness in his eyes. He is breathing! Indiana hesitates but then, feeling his lungs are about to explode, takes a big gulp of water, fearing the worst.

It works! He hasn’t drowned. The water is full of oxygen, and although it feels pretty weird going into his lungs, he can breathe it. The man offers him some wonderful looking rolls, miraculously unsoggy for having been baked under water. Indy declines, and swims past the man to explore the rest of this portion of the cave, which vaguely resembles an inventor’s workshop that just happens to have an incredibly high, meshed-in ceiling. And cave walls. And is under water.

As he moves towards one end of the room, we pan back to the crazy man, staring affectionately at his bread. Zoom in on the bread, where small lumps are moving around just on the surface, some strange, unseen creatures preparing to burst free, Alien-like, from the loaves. He pats the bread affectionately and begins to laugh maniacally. The Jaws music starts playing in the background. The lumps move faster and faster, tugging at the dough. Something…BAD…is…about…to…happen.

I wake up.

I went and did something really stupid, and then, almost effortlessly, wrote the introduction to my paper. I guess I kinda expected that.

In addition to working, hanging out, getting some exercise, and having some fun this summer I’ve also been working on the Usdan Gameroom, which has been my project ever since students voted to allocate the money last year.

While I feel I’ve done a lot of things for Brandeis, the gameroom is something really tangible and apparent, and I want to make sure its done right. Plus, I’m finding it very fun to have control over a $122,000 budget.

Continue reading “Gameroom progress”

The Shuttle PC I bought sophomore year has had persistant heat problems. While it is nice to have a very small PC case, the ventilation is not great and has led to the failure of one hard drive and the almost-lost of all my data. I went and purchase a big fan and stuck it directly under the new hard drive, but it still overheats and crashes every week or two.

So last week I decided to finally deal with the problem. I bought a (supposedly) very quiet minitower case and an extra fan for it to keep it cool. The new case necessitated a new motherboard, so I got one of those as well, one with built-in RAID. RAID is a method of linking together multiple hard drives to either make one big, fast storage system or to create redundancy by “mirroring” data on multiple drives. My original thought was to do mirroring, so that if one drive failed I’d still have my data, but then it occured to me that it would probably make more sense for my purposes to just have an ultra-fast non-redundant RAID setup and then backup everything to my old (i.e. current) hard drive every night. Then my backup would be a day old, which is actually better, because if I delete something accidentally I will be able to recover it from the backup.

The new case, new motherboard, fan, and two new hard drives ended up costing about $400, which I think is a fair exchange for more storage space and, more importantly, more reliability. Now I’ll have the ability to backup my laptop onto my desktop as well, and the risk of massive loss of data is much reduced. Plus, hopefully it’ll be quieter.

I got to discover the Providence airport (hint: it’s not in Providence!) as part of my short journey down to Washington, D.C. to see Adam and Yanna in their temporary summer digs. The weather was hot and balmy and occasionally water chose to pour from the sky, but that didn’t dampen the fun and good times were had by all, especially after a visit to the Apple Store. But more on that in just a minute.

What can you get with $3 million and a few miles of cabling? Why the incredibly cool parking system at BWI, of course. A big board gives total parking available at the entrance, boards on each floor give spaces available there, at each row is an indicator of spaces available in that row, and at each space is a sensor with red LEDs to show the space is occupied and green to show it is empty. Everything is updated in real time, of course, and it makes finding a free space incredibly easy, saving thousands of hours of driving, and the assorted gas and pollution, per year. I was suitably impressed with this feat of engineering. Sometimes its the most straightforward things that most elude us. The BWI parking structure is an example of really good usability design at work. I can’t wait to see it enter the mainstream.

While Adam and Yanna live in Arlington, Virginia, the District is just a short walk away. A few miles in the other direction is Maryland. In fact, Yanna has to walk across state lines to go to work!

We went around the Georgetown area and had drinks at a bar on Friday. On Saturday we planned on going to the monuments, but it was hot and we ended up going to the Air and Space Museum instead. Stopped at the Botanical Gardens first to look around and use the restrooms. Its nice to have things around that don’t cost money, even if you do have to go through metal detectors everywhere you go.

The IMAX show at the Air and Space Museum was a little creepy in its NASA worship, but I tried to ignore that and look at the cool pictures of the International Space Station. The stupid 3D glasses didn’t help in the least…the polarized lenses required that you keep your head in one exact position to avoid seeing double, and even then there was highly annoying ghosting. Since most of the film wasn’t really in 3D at all, I kinda wonder why they subjected us to the glasses at all.

I was introduced to Slurpees, which I didn’t like, and the George Washington University gameroom, which I did. The Hippodrome is a huge gameroom, pool hall, bowling alley, and lounge with food, a dance floor, and lots of couches. I got some good ideas for the gameroom at Brandeis and thought about what ours could be like if there was enough administrative will (and money) behind it. Sigh.

On Sunday we were all set for a trip out into…well, somewhere, but the pouring rain caused us to detour, and we ended up at the local Apple Store, after hatching a brilliant plan to do some serious wallet damage. Basically, I funded Adam’s new iBook, which he has wanted forever but has never been willing to take the plunge for, and in exchange for the no-interest loan, I got to take advantage of the Apple education rebates to swing a free printer and a reduced-price new iPod. Adam got a nice new iBook, my (only slightly old) 30GB iPod for $100, and an AppleCare, I got a shiny new 40GB iPd for only $69, the aforementioned free HP inkjet printer, and the AppleCare I’ve been meaning to buy for my PowerBook. Not wanting to feel left out, Yanna got the shoulder strap for her iPod mini. 🙂 This was followed, of course, by lots of time at home setting up and playing with various items. We also had to decide on names. Following my lead, with my AgBook and AgPod, there is now an yPod and a HermPod, with matching ‘Books. It’s one big happy Mac family! And another notch on my “people I’ve converted to Macs” list, which is growing quite large.

A trip would not be complete without a few hours of weather related delays for the plane flight home. I finally arrived back in Waltham, safe, sound, and tired at about 1:00am. Thanks Adam and Yanna for a great weekend!

Today I started walking and didn’t stop until I got to Costco, 3.7 miles away. Well, I did stop at Radio Shack and pick up some alligator clips, one of which, when probably secured, will make my earphones much more comfortable. But that’s not the point. Wait, what was the point?

I’m going to add a Philosophy minor since it looks like I only need three courses to fill it, and I’ve wanted to do more philosophy. I’m not sure I’m going to get my Internet Studies minor because apparently my independent study with Tim Hickey doesn’t count as the capstone course, it has to be an independent study in my department related to the internet. Huh? I have to do an AMST independent study for the INET program? That’s weird…