People have this obsession with locking eyes and telling truth. I don’t get it, it doesn’t work for me. When I know that is happening, I can’t look someone in the eyes. I’m pretty sure that that was what really got me kicked off of the Justice – not looking David in the eyes when I told him that I didn’t do anything wrong. Even when police reports cleared me, no charges were filed, I even got what could be considered an apology, he didn’t trust me to come back, because I didn’t look him in the eye at The Boulevard when he asked me that question.

See, I have this inner subconscious thing about societal conventions, expected patterns of behavior, and all that. I knew what I was doing as I looked away, I knew I was dooming myself, but I couldn’t help it. Perhaps I hoped he would judge based on the facts and not some fake emotional exchange. There is a whole rant in here somewhere about the truth of memories, the ability of people to lie, etc., etc. Truth is, I’m a very bad liar, and thus I try to avoid big lies as much as possible. So people get upset sometimes, because I tell the truth, because I’m not as tactful as I could be but, for better or worse, that is who I am.

I should probably write the whole incident with the Justice down, but the conversations and chain of events are fuzzy enough that I don’t really feel confident to do so. People asked me about it for a long while afterwards, and no one is content with the explanation that “really, its not very exciting, in fact its quite boring.” Because, truthfully, it wasn’t a big thing, nothing incredible. Police investigations does not equal murder, intrigue, or whatever. And in America we have this thing about being innocent until proven guilty, and I wasn’t even charged. I was called in as a witness in a very minor act of tampering that I did not actually witness. A few statements were made (not by me) that were misinterpreted, and the police detective’s somewhat overzealous investigation lead to some troubles for a certain assistant editor (me) at a highly-unsympathetic newspaper. Of course, if I had waited until I had been established there, learned the people, and then carried out the investigation, this probably would have turned out very different. Truth is, I was given an opportunity for a job that I didn’t completely want, but I felt that the experience would be worth the work and so I signed on to try my hand at editing. I had some high dreams about getting to the heart of real stories that matter, especially at a newspaper that is not at all influenced by major media concerns like advertising. Too bad it didn’t work out, but maybe next year.

And I’ve used the expression “truth is” twice in one entry, which shows that I must really be out of it and incoherant here at 5:30 in the morning. But I figure, stay awake now, and I can sleep on the plane. So. Must…stay…awake.

(How did this come up? It was a line on 24.)

Yay, my Honey Nut Cheerios(tm) have “soluble fiber” that may lower cholesterol! Okay, I’m just happy to have AgBlog back, so I’m posting junk…

iTunes uses something like 50% of my CPU to play music – that is A Bad Thing(tm). In contrast, the newly installed command line utility mpg123 plays on my iBook at about 10% utilization, a much nicer number. But MPG123 doesn’t really support any options besides just straight playthrough – no fast forward, rewind, looking at playlists, etc. So I’ll try Audion, the other Mac OS X player, and hope I can get a good compromise. Cause my songs should NOT be monopolizing my CPU. That is just bad programming.

I go out to the campus shuttle at 10:00pm, and get home right about…now. Phew. I lugged my 60 lb. server around Grad for a while until I found Joel’s place, we spent some time setting it up (apparently Mac OS X won’t boot without a monitor…wha????), and then I caught a van back.

First we went into Waltham with four drunk guys (“You know what, Victory has food!” “Yeah, that’s cause they’re a supermarket.” “Oh, yeah.”) and they got me and the driver donuts in exchange for us waiting for them to get…donuts. Then we went back. So I’m here. Yay! And AgBlog is back on the air after a few days of darkness, and my server is up and running so that I can access everything over the break. And tomorrow…err..today, at 9:30am, I catch the Airporter to the airport, and then, home free! And I have four DVDs saved up for the flight. So it’ll be fun. But…oh crap…still have some philosophy to do. Sigh.

Who needs sleep when you’ve got Jerry Cohen papers to write? 🙂

(The title is ™ Willow)

I can’t remember the last time I heard sirens around here, but just a second ago I did. I feel like I’m home already. 🙂

Last night I dreamt that D’Argo appeared on the Larry Elder show for half an hour, then afterwards realized that no one was able to understand him (he speaks Luxon, of course, and no Earthlings other then John Crichton have translator microbes) and it was all a big joke. Why did this come about? Well, Justin, having found on my website my interview on KFI, told me about his experiences on KABC with Mr. Elder, and then we started debating something or other having to do with guns. D’Argo, being the gun-toting warrior alien of Farscape, somehow merged with Justin, and there you have it. Since I rarely have dreams, I like to remember them when I do, so I figured I might as well write this one down, even if it is completely without meaning.

It’s bad when you are writing your final papers on your laptop and then, when you turn it on in the morning, it refuses to work any more. As in, it won’t start up, it won’t boot from CD, it crashes every minute or so that it’s on with either a “bus error” or a fatal system crash. So eventually I realized that my Mac OS X cd would boot the laptop, while the OS 9 CD would not. So I booted into X, reformatted, installed, and cleaned up a bit. But I still can’t get OS 9 back on there. So now I am rewriting my essays. Sigh. Well, I had the majority of my work in my Conspiracy essay saved on my desktop, so now I’m finishing that up. Except its certainly not my best work.

On Wednesday I go home! Yay! I need to clean up, do some laundry, and vacuum, and also to make sure all of the Mock Trial stuff is in order. I have to meet with some administrators about getting money. We’re working up a budget and, with the help of my mom’s wonderful shopping skills, we’ve cut our car rental costs by about 300%. Yay! Thanks mom! 😉

So anyway, I get picked up by the highly respected Airporter which, I might add, is impossible to find on the internet, get dropped off at the airport, and take a nice big American flight (like the one that crashed into the…oh, never mind) into LA. No, I’m not worried anything is going to happen. But a lot of other people still are, even on the short-hop flights that were not used, unlike the Boston to LA flights that were. Oh, but I stop over somewhere, so I guess I’m okay.

And if all this talk about crashing planes sounds either sarcastic or mean, its just because I think that some of the opinions people have about airport security are just terrible. And the profiling and searching that is taking place doesn’t seem like its doing anything to fix the situation, only to make people more tense. Yeah, national guardsmen in our airports will really help, especilally in a 12 Monkeys scenario, when someone releases a small vial of smallpox and then walks away. Shoot that, buddy. 🙁

So anyway, I’m optimistic about the flight. I hate plane flights, but maybe this one will be somewhat empty, and I’ll certainly have a few good DVDs to watch, although my computer won’t last through more then 1.5 of them. I’ll have to recharge in my stopover in Chicago or wherever.

So I find out that most everyone who is giving me grief for watching reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer spend their Wednesday nights watching, of all things, Dawson’s Creek. Eek. So imaging my delight when on tonights episode of Buffy we see Spike, the evil vampire turned good (weird government experiments with chips in heads, don’t ask) watching television and exclaiming in disgust, “Oh Pacey you blind idiot, can’t you see she doesn’t love you?” Then there is a knock on the door and he quickly flicks the crypt’s TV off.

Yes, my show is sticking up for me, making fun of their show! This is AWESOME!!! 🙂 I’m gonna go squeal some more.

“Should I print the stuff about graphical applets?” I ask. “Noo! Come on, lets go, we’re late,” Sophie replies.

And thence slips away 20% of my final grade. Until I was given the helpful hint by Prof. Hickey that perhaps I need to use the restroom. Ah, yes. And now I shall return from the stall refreshed and with the rest of my notes, ready to ace the test. Phew!

My RAM was shipped from Smalldog in Vermont at 6 PM yesterday, got shipped from Barre, VT at 9:19 and arrived in Chelmsford, Mass (only about 10 or 20 miles away) at 12:33 this morning. So when will I get it? Today? Tonight? Nah, I doubt it. Its 3 day shipping, so I should get it on Friday. Well, we’ll see. Maybe UPS will surprise me. No, I doubt it. I’ll let you know.

New pictures are in my Winter Wonderland gallery. Perdy, isn’t it? I like snow. 🙂

Tired. Too. Much. Work.

EOF

Some people seem to be confused about what a hacker is, and whether I am one or not. Here is your answer: I am. And her is what that means:

hacker (hacking)[1]
A hacker is someone who is able to manipulate the inner workings of computers, information, and technology.

Consider Arthur C. Clark’s Third Law: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”. Since normal people have no clue as to how computers work, they often view hackers with suspicion and awe (as magicians, sorcerers, witches, and warlocks). This suspicion leads to the word “hacker” having the connotation of someone up to no good.

History: The word “hacker” started out in the 14th century to mean somebody who was inexperienced or unskilled at a particular activity (such as a golf hacker).

In the 1970s, the word “hacker” was used by computer enthusiasts to refer to themselves. This reflected the way enthusiasts approach computers: they eschew formal education and play around with the computer until they can get it to work. (In much the same way, a golf hacker keeps hacking at the golf ball until they get it in the hole).

Furthermore, as “experts” learn about the technology, the more they realize how much they don’t know (especially about the implications of technology). When experts refer to themselves as “hackers”, they are making a Socratic statement that they truly know nothing. For more information on this connotation, see ESR’s computer enthusiast “Jargon File”.

What is Christmas? Is it a religious occurrence, celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ? Is it a collective spirit of family values and caring? Or is it simply a terrible consumer phenomenon perpetrated by the retail industry? Well, its probably all three.

From: Culture Jammers Network
Date: Fri, 7 Dec 2001 10:35:54 -0800
Subject: Calm Christmas


Did you do it? Was it more painful than you thought, or less?


It shouldn’t be too hard keep the wallet buttoned for just one day. But damned if shopping’s not a stubborn routine to break. A decaf-latte here, a video-rental there, a newspaper and a tank of gas on plastic – the routine has become unconscious. We’re slaves to our consumption patterns, and it’s hard to know how much so until we break them. That’s what Buy Nothing Day is about. It’s an experiment in self-awareness-and self-control-in the service of a broader global message. If you’re among the thousands worldwide who took the Buy Nothing Day challenge for the first time, what did it feel like?


This much we know: The experience has changed people. Maybe it changed you. Maybe you felt…lighter. More relaxed. More alive than you have in months. And maybe you want to ride that feeling right into the Christmas season and beyond, turning a thoroughly commodified holiday into something more authentically fulfilling: a Calm Christmas.


On Buy Nothing Day a small group in Fairbanks, Alaska staged a peace march right through the local mall. A group in Calgary, Alberta, heard about that and staged one of their own. (Could we have found a new use for malls?) And so the meme spreads. What we have on our hands here, quite possibly, is a whole new way of celebrating Christmas. Doing the Right Thing, surrounded by the ones you love, and quietly redefining “freedom” in the bargain. No one can say that’s not patriotic.

This was my first year of buying nothing, but it won’t be the last. And when people ask what I want for Hanukkah this year, I will respond with the truth: I don’t need anything material. Having you ask me is enough.

Basically every commercial following Sept. 11th has disgusted me, especially ones that try to work within the “new world” we have after the attacks. Some of the worst offenders: Saturn, the Travel Industry, and Ford “Striving To Make the World A Better Place” Motors.

Just now I saw the 400th cycle of the “I Love New York” commercial narrated by Whoopi Goldberg. Gotta say, their new campaign to “Paint the Town Red, White & Blue” isn’t as bad as most other things I’ve seen. In fact, while I am completely against the terrible consumerism that has engulfed America (and made our economy thrive), I do think its somewhat “patriotic,” if that is the word, to visit New York City. This city relies greatly on tourism and the terrible tragedy of Sept. 11 has decimated the city enough as it is without bankrupting another ten thousand businesses. Yeah, go to New York, have a good time, and spend your money. If you’re going to spend it anyway, this is the best place to do it.

The new photos are up in “Winter Wonderland.” I didn’t have a huge amount of them, but there are some good ones. I still encourage others to submit photos. And yeah, Peter, you emailed me a few, sorry I didn’t get them into this collection. I’ll drop them in when I find them. 😉

I could move forward with my vision of setting up some kind of funky servers on my OS X box to consolidate all of my email, web, and planning stuff into one place (LDAP, whatever you use for calendars). Or I could just write that I’m thinking about it, and perhaps this more limited action will give me respite enough from my visions so that I can continue with my preparations for finals and my last research papers of the semester. I hope this works.

My last USEM class was today, and most other classes are ending next week. Its kinda sad, you know? I feel like we haven’t really gotten closure in some of our classes. At least in News On Screen we’ve made it to the Internet, but I still feel we havn’t talked enough about how public spheres relate to the new interconnected world, and sadly it is now impossible to do so. In conspiracy we’ve gotten to alien abductions, but we still haven’t talked about the newest conspiracy theories and the latest research. But still in Consipracy at least I feel that we’ve done a pretty good overview and are basically finished, or at least enough so that we can end it. Philosophy will never end, but since I didn’t put enough effort into that class, it is probably best that I can start over with a new philosophy class in the future and devote more time to it. I still haven’t learned anything valuable in Intro CoSi, and I don’t plan to, I must simply do another of the dreary web projects using Scheme, and must content myself that at least I konw more about UNIX then 90% of the class.

I went into CS expecting something like my high school MST (Math/Science/Technology) class. Learning how computers work, yeah, I’ve done that, but its okay. What I really wanted to learn was how to use UNIX and *NIX derivatives, to understand more about OOP, the latest web standards (XML, etc) and protocols. I got none of it. But perhaps I aimed to high. Ah, well. Conspiracy class looks set to begin, so I’ll finish up here.

I have a bunch of classes next semester but I don’t know how many of them will stick over winter break, I might be changing things, so I won’t list them now. All in all though, a productive and fun first semester. Here’s hoping semester 2 of my college career is even better.

Before I spent the time hacking up PHPix to handle my image gallery, I probably should have just done a little digging. This is very intriguing. Searching! Passwords! Captioning. Hmm…

And yes, I will have new photos on soon, perhaps tomorrow. But I have other priorities.

My sustenance for the day was doughnuts and Cheet-Os ™ provided by Sara at the Mock Trial thing. Thanks a lot, Sara. Sigh.

Oh God. FX is doing a series called Rampart. Yeah, that’s not going to be controversial or anything.